Recap 101

Rocks Fall here. I'll be recapping Grimms for what will undoubtedly be its very short run. I will tell you from the onset that I've drunk the Cheshire Software punch and am enjoying the ride.

Black Screen. A… what is that? OH! Branches scroll up on the screen and create the word "Grimms." I do like the title design. It's simplistic and cheap, yes, but it's also very "fairy tale book."

We go from that to what I can only assume is some basement of the Google offices—if they had decided to go with an Alice in Wonderland theme. Plus? It's a party! Why doesn't my job have parties like this? There's champagne and a punch bowl that you just know is spiked. And everyone's got Flip cameras. I wonder if there's a YouTube tie-in account. Does Joe Flanigan sing in it?

Speaking of Joe, the artwork on the wall is trying to convince me that Joe's name is Charles Chester—really, show, that's the best you could come up with?—and that he's a mega billionaire. He owns Cheshire Software Ltd, so I'm blaming him for the Alice in Wonderland decor. There's also some MacGuffin article about how the "Cypher Server" is the best gaming server ever and how the new "Usurper Chip" will be even better.

I don't think servers and microchips work like that, but I'm just going to let that go for now. The camera finally gets done showing me the layout of the "Gaming Concepts" department and finally shows me Joe Flanigan Charles Chester, who's been giving the same bullshit pep talk you've heard from your boss every time he's about to get credit for something you did. He's reminding everyone not to party too hard, as they have to be in by 8 am the next day.

Judging from the state of the champagne and punch bowls, I'd say that reminder is about two hours too late. No one seems very interested in taking the advice, including Chester, who halfheartedly protests that they all need to be "pretty" to watch him "deliver the Usurper Chip to the Cypher Server".

I am amused by how concerned Chester is that everyone be "pretty." Chester's outfit is rather hip and trendy, and if that speech doesn't make you question which way he swings, you just aren't paying attention. I'd say something about the fucked up IT lingo, but Jensen Ackles does it for me: "You mean watch you put a chip in a slot?"

And then? Chester grins and says, "Absolutely. I plan on taking two hours—overtime for everyone! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a helicopter to catch!" Then skips his ponce ass out the door. Ladies and gents, I have a new crush. I don't pretend to understand all the fuss over recasting Billy Campbell, but I adore how Joe is playing this role.

Unable to outdo the awesome, the screen fades to black, and more branches tell us this episode is called "Once Upon A Time."

The party seems to be breaking up after Chester leaves—and really, who can blame them? I'm thinking I'm going to always leave a party by declaring my helicopter ride's here and skipping out of the room. Everyone seems to be checking in with Jensen and Alona Tal. (Hi, sweetie. I hope the fans treat you better on this show than they did on Supernatural, but I don't really think they will.)

Blah, blah, exposition, filler, yammer, yammer, blah. The gist is that they are all heading out to a local bar. (Seriously. Everyone who works here is a lush.) They want the "Programmers Grimm" to go because if you can't have a gay Joe Flanigan, Jensen and Alona are a good second choice. Rebecca and Ryan beg off and claim they will catch up—they just have to make sure their concept's correctly formatted for development.

The co-workers exposit that the Grimms' program is going to be the first through the new development process. All laugh about how mysterious the development process is but how nice the commission checks are. One of the guys flirts with Rebecca, prompting Ryan to step in with, "Dude. Stop hitting on my sister. That's just gross."

And after I stop laughing, I freeze the Ryan/Rebecca thread on the forums, then go back to laughing again. I have gone back to the press packets from last year - the Grimms have always been siblings. So I'm officially banning all the wank about "rewrites" on the boards now. Besides, you all came from Supernatural fandom. You can't convince me that Ryan and Rebecca being siblings will even slow down the fic. In fact, I'm pretty sure the pairing just gained followers. God Bless The Internet.

So while I was laughing about them, everyone has left, and a courier comes in. The Grimms are the only ones left (In the building? That's dedication) and are called to security to sign. Apparently, Chester doesn't allow rent-a-cops to sign for packages. Smart man.

There's a hilarious "oh shit" moment when Rebecca opens it and finds the "Usurper Chip." There's a subtle thing happening as Rebecca calls Chester—no one will take it from her—hee. Chester goes crazy—fabulously—about how it's not safe. Don't move! Don't take it out of the box! (Too late.) Chester says he's missed the helicopter and will have to drive back. He doesn't trust security with it. There's a fabulous shot of Chester losing his shit once he's disconnected and jumping into a very sporty convertible and zooming off. Complete with a fucking white silk scarf. People, I love Chester. I don't care what he turns out to be. SPOILER!

The Grimms stare at each other over the Usurper Chip as we go to commercial break.

When we come back, they're back in Gaming Development and are playing I Spy (Rebecca kicks Ryan's bored and whiny ass). I'm guessing it's been awhile. I'd call bullshit on it, but I'm not putting it past Chester to regularly fly across state lines in lieu of a morning commute, so it may actually take that long. (I really, really hope they show us Chester's house in a future ep. Can't you just imagine?)

Ryan pouts and whines and makes Rebecca call Chester. He's stuck on the interstate. Another quick shot of Chester hilariously dealing with a chihuahua barking at him from the car beside his. He's obviously under stress—you can tell because his outfit is all askew, and his hair. Well, it's Joe's hair.

Ryan suggests leaving the chip locked up somewhere until morning. Chester won't hear of it. He's convinced the chip is not safe until it's in its server slot .

I'm trying really, really hard not to call bullshit on the IT jargon, but really? It's not like it was delivered by Brinks. Why can't they put it in a safe or take it back to wherever the fuck it was supposed to spend the night ? Whatever, Show. Moving on.

There's a loving shot of Ryan's boots, and since this was in the screener, I've been reliably assured they are the actor's own boots. Ryan's got some really nice jeans (shut up, I notice the denim after 5 years selling Levi's) and a henley that's been described in loving terms on our forum as "dark sea green." Why am I focused on the wardrobe ? Because Ryan is in a chair and frantically scrabbling backwards as the camera tries to catch him. We haven't gotten to his face yet. His shoulders and arms seemed to have distracted our cameraman.

We finally catch up to him as he raises his arms in victory. Ryan and Rebecca were playing office chair races, and he's won. Okay, that was cute. You get a heh. Heh. When Rebecca good-naturedly adds a tally on the white board, we see that the Programmers Grimm have also played: I Spy, Paper Bin Basketball, Rubber Band Archery, and Pin the Post-It on the Bullseye. Okay, that's a bona fide "HEE." HEE! For the record, Rebecca was wiping the floor with her brother. Rebecca's also in jeans, but she's got a white button down shirt and black boots. Fairly stylish for programmers.

The camera pans up to the clock, which flashes forward an hour. It pans back down as a newscaster is talking about the massive accident—accidents? there may be more than one—that have essentially shut down all commuting. Ever. I'm assuming Chester is in the middle of it having a fabulous breakdown.

We pan over to Rebecca, who is now making intricate sculptures out of paper clips. Damn, the girl's got talent! And I just realized those pod rooms are their cubicles. Ryan's sitting next to her, so I think they share it. Ryan now has a jacket on—not because it's cold, but because he's trying to replicate Emilo Estavez in The Breakfast Club. (Tell me you don't know what that means, and I'm banning you from the boards.) He's also carrying on a conversation with his sister.

Ryan: Rebecca.

Rebecca: Ryan.

Ryan: Rebecca.

Rebecca: Ryan.

Ryan: Rebecca.

Rebecca: Ryan.

In different inflections (like DUDE), indicating that Ryan is bored and whiny and deciding to torment her, and she's on her last nerve with it. Ryan keeps picking up the clear acrylic box containing the Usurper Chip. Rebecca keeps taking it from him without looking. Ryan lets out one long, whiny Rebeeeeeecca, and she finally cracks and yells at him. Ryan just laughs at her.

The "chip" is a frigging USB in the shape of the Cheshire Software logo. I suspect this is all a marketing ploy. Also, I can't believe anyone actually believed they were playing this as anything other than siblings. The scene is great, as it's establishing just how well they actually function as a team—I'm pretty sure that's going to be a theme going forward .

The clock does another flash forward, and—holy crap—it's after 11:30 pm. Chester must pay them a salary as fabulous as he is because I would have been out the door by 8 . They seem to be reaching their breaking point. Rebecca's on the phone with Chester at another desk. If you're wondering why, you can see Ryan rearranging her desk in the background. (Ryan's side of the pod is already completely rearranged from the scene before.)

Chester is still next to the Chihuahua, and the dog is muzzled with his scarf. The owner is deliberately not making eye contact. Chester fucking rocks. He's still insisting the Usurper cannot be left unattended. Why, will it run away? Is it like the WB frog? It was made by Chester. I wouldn't rule it out.

Something off screen makes Chester jump into his car, and it appears they're moving. He's hung up on Rebecca, who's doing that movie thing of repeatedly pressing the hook on the phone base to try and get the call back. Has that ever worked? Ryan picks up on it and grabs the Usurper and sprints to the door. Rebecca protests, but she is obviously over the waiting, too.

Rebecca: You know what he's like. If we don't keep it safe to his definition of safe, he'll make our lives hell for months.

Ryan: The chip's only safe in its server slot? I'm going to go put it in its server slot. If Chester wants to fire me for stealing his thunder, he can.

Rebecca: Ryan! We're a programming unit . You know he'll fire me, too. He's got that whole yin-yang balance thing—

I don't even know where to start with that. How the hell do those interviews go? Did Chester hire them personally? How can you fire somebody because they aren't a pair anymore? Are they all siblings in the office? That's kinda creepy.

As she's getting ready to follow him, the phone rings at her desk. She has to look for her phone ( hee) and connects to Chester. Chester's grinning again and is "two minutes" away. He's all fabulous again and genuinely grateful they waited (oops). Rebecca gets quickly off the phone and runs after Ryan.

Dude. The Cypher server was in the next room this whole time?! No wonder Ryan was going nuts. Also, the server room is your basic row of racks and cables. In a pink and purple striped room . Oh, Chester. I do love you so. No wonder you only wanted pretty people in there to watch.

However, the point is that Ryan is not in the room. Rebecca looks understandably puzzled and backs up to the offices. Yes, the server room is a dead end hall, and there's nowhere else Ryan would have gone. Chester naturally chooses this moment to get back. Rebecca has the same horrified "kill me now" expression you would have as Chester approaches. Rebecca manages to protest, "But he was right there!"

Chester immediately knows what she means . Something is definitely up. He goes running into the server room and proceeds to lose his shit. I only know Joe from Stargate: Atlantis, so I immediately dub him Evil!Shep!Chester! He's practically crying one second and homicidal the next as he talks to… himself. He's definitely ignoring Rebecca, who is weirded out enough to begin with. The chip took forever to make, and it was his. Ryan had no right to take it. He can't wait another hundred years (I don't know, either) . He's tired of waiting. Rebecca has been backing up and finally asks where her brother is.

Chester doesn't seem to know who she is. "Ryan? He's gone there."

Rebecca can't quite summon up the courage to ask where "there" is, and I don't blame her. Evil!Shep!Chester is freaking me out. She instead asks if they should call the cops. He just kinda … waves at her. She takes that as a yes and runs walks calmly back to her office.

Chester stares at the server rack as the music swells and takes us to a Commercial Break .

Ryan is on the ground and unconscious. Holy hell, Jensen Ackles has amazing eyelashes. It's damn distracting.

Matt Bomer is leaning over him and trying to wake him up. While Ryan wakes up and stands up, I'll tell you what Matt's wearing for consistency . He's wearing a white homemade shirt, brown leather pants, and boots. His leather bracers and belt both have too many buckles. Everything on him has more straps and buckles than it needs to, actually . He's got a messenger bag on, and guess what it has—no, not buckles, but the strap has straps. A blue onyx-looking stone ring is on a leather cord around his neck. Let's hope that it gets a better payoff then Dean Winchester's neck wear did . His hair is longer and curlier/less perfect than it was on White Collar. You need a bib. I can hear you drooling through the internet.

Matt's expecting Ryan to go pillaging. That seems odd. The camera pulls back, and they are in the woods. Literally. Make of that what you will. Matt's having far too much fun brushing off Ryan's clothes. Ryan wants to know what the hell just happened. You and me both, Ryan.

Matt wants to know who Ryan is, and they introduce themselves. Matt is really Dante Aesop. That sound you hear is me rolling my eyes. I love the show as much as anyone, but they need to stop letting V Penn name people .

Dante, however, is impressed that Ryan isn't named "Ryan the Ravager." Okay, then. I'll stop complaining. Ryan asks again what happened. Dante is surprised that Ryan doesn't know. And then there's exposition, and we're likely to have to watch this scene a million times in "previously"s, so I'll just transcribe :

Dante: Don't you have to—I don't know—"start the game"?

Ryan: The game? What? You mean this is a virtual? When did I get plugged in?

(thinks a moment)

The chip. I was putting the chip in the server—and then—

Dante: (watching him) You're—you're just you, aren't you?

(Off Ryan's look, he starts rummaging in his messenger bag and produces a mirror) Here. Who do you see?

Ryan: (playing along, but barely keeping his peace) Me.

Dante: As you. Not as someone else?

Ryan: (a hint beginning to form) You mean an avatar? No. I'm me. "As me" and no one else.

Dante: I'll be damned.

Ryan: Where am I?

Dante: You're in the Dominion. How did you get here?

Ryan: (disbelieving) The Dominion? As in the fictional game world?

Dante: How did you get here anyway? What's the last thing you remember before I woke you up?

Ryan: (looking in his hand) I was in my server room at work. (holds up the Usurper) I was putting this away, and then I was here.

Dante: (cautiously looking at the Usurper) What—

I should note that this all takes place in about 45 seconds. This will be important later on. SPOILERS !

At any rate, Dante is cut off by Paul Bettany. And even though I knew it was Paul Bettany, I still find myself checking IMDB and wondering what the hell the producers had to do to have him in an American television pilot .

Do you want to know what Paul's wearing? Of course you do. Paul has stolen Heath Ledger's A Knight's Tale wardrobe. It's similar to Dante's gear but of higher quality—white poet shirt, black pants, shiny equestrian boots, and a military looking beige long coat. Also, a rapier. The rapier does me in.

Paul immediately starts bitching out Dante, who bitches right back. Paul's name is apparently "Jack." Jack and Dante obviously know and loathe each other. They argue as if it was a continuation of a previous argument. Ryan looks baffled and keeps staring around like he's never seen Vancouver before.

Jack finally notices Ryan and seems friendly. He automatically assumes that Dante was about to kill him. Dante's slightly bitter about that.

Dante begins yelling that no one's asked, but he's "always helping out anyway," and he's tired of always "being the bad guy when there are Avvies aplenty to play the role." Jack ignores him and takes a turn brushing off Jensen's ass. I mean, protectively guides Ryan away from Dante.

Dante notices that he's no longer near Ryan and is insulted. Jack seems genuinely alarmed by Dante's attempt to get close to Ryan and is facing Dante, backing towards Ryan with his hand on his sword. Dante is getting a little manic as he starts ranting about how Ryan is obviously important and from "there" and "not displaced."

The overall effect is that Ryan isn't too thrilled with either of them coming close and backs up more . I would, too, babe. Jack actually begins yelling at Dante to "Stand down! Villain!" And I'm waiting for the rapier to get some use. Dante starts ranting about how he's helping Bremen and that it's the only home he's ever known—not that anyone's ever made him welcome—etc.

Meanwhile, Ryan and the audience hear a humming noise. It's fucking distracting and ruining the joy that is Paul Bettany and Matt Bomer swashbuckling each other. Ryan yells at them to shut up, and they immediately do. I think this might actually be Ryan's power (SPOILERS !)

Now everybody hears the noise, and all three look around. Jack spins to face Ryan and stares at his hand. A convenient close up of Ryan's hand shows that he's still got the Usurper Chip—aka the Misnamed Fucking MacGuffin—and now it is slightly glowing as if it were plugged in. Jack snatches it and asks if it belongs to Dante .

Ryan tries to get it back, but it's too late. The humming noise crescendos, and a vortex (green and gold with an fx of branches, like the credits, reaching out and swirling). It is apparently sucking up the forest and Jack, being closest, loses his footing first . Ryan starts to reach out and grabs Jack as he loses his footing himself. But it's okay, as Dante has grabbed hold of Ryan. Dante is fighting to get debris out of his eyes (plot point) and seems to be trying to look away but can't (another plot point) .

Jack catches Dante's eyes and looks surprised that Dante's trying to save him. He smiles and tells Dante, "Save yourselves. "

Jack lets go, and Ryan overbalances. Ryan starts to go, but there's a break in the debris, and Dante can (finally!) see the field beyond. His eyes oversaturate with blue (because stealing from Dune isn't done nearly enough) , and there's a blue-out.

Whew. We come out of the blue-out to Rebecca and Chester wrapping up with the cops. It went about as well as you think it would. The acrylic case is on the floor. Chester is fabulously pacing all over the room and claiming that Ryan has stolen the chip . When Rebecca starts to protest, Chester is distracted enough to look at her . He pulls himself together back to the cheerful boss, but it's now obviously a fake mask. He says he knows Ryan didn't steal the Usurper, but if he's only "missing," the police will have to wait 48 hours.

Rebecca is getting scared and says nothing else as Chester herds her and the cops to security to look at the camera footage. She manages to hang back to sneak towards the server room again. Completely baffled, she's actually checking the pink and purple walls for a trap door. She turns, and they do that cheap trick where Chester is RIGHT THERE, and it has made me jump every time I've watched this.

Chester. Is. Pissed .

He's hissing and spitting out the lines—he's asking where the chip is and how long they've been planning it. Rebecca just backs away as quickly as she can, but there's nowhere to go.

Chester grabs her and shakes her and yells at her not to lie to him. Woof. Evil!Shep!Chester is kinda hot . He then becomes un-hot by shaking her so hard it's actually uncomfortable. Rebecca gets over that bullshit very quickly and throws him off. In the process, they knock over the server tower which almost falls. There's an amusing moment when they both forget their argument and grab for the server rack. They VERY GENTLY pull it back, and it CLANKS back into place with a jarring motion, making them both wince.

Geeks United !

The Misnamed Fucking MacGuffin Usurper Chip is now sitting in the slot that was just empty. It's glowing merrily. Chester gives Rebecca a funky grin—it's almost more disturbing than when he was attacking her . Rebecca doesn't notice because she's staring over his shoulder. At Jack.

Yes, Jack has appeared from thin air behind them. I get that he came back with the Misnamed Fucking MacGuffin, but how did they not hear him? What happened to the noise ? Why is he no longer holding the Misnamed Fucking MacGuffin ? PICK A RULE AND STICK TO IT, SHOW.

Jack spins in circles a couple of times before focusing on Chester still holding Rebecca by one arm. Everyone stares at everyone else until even the camera gives up and we go to Commercial Break.

Jack recovers first. How, I do not know. Apparently, popping in and out of vortexes is not as disorienting as you'd think . He looks at Chester still invading Rebecca's space and holding her arm again . Rebecca is in shock and looks frightened. Chester's funky grin vanishes as Jack pulls out the rapier and loudly orders Chester to "unhand the maiden."

Chester recovers next , and he runs around the server rack as Jack swings the rapier over his head. Rebecca has to duck to avoid the rapier, and she just backs up against a wall to stare at the freak show . Chester says that Jack looks like he's from "the Dominion." Rebecca reminds us all that "The Dominion" is the game Chester made his billions from. Atta girl.

Jack announces that he is Jack, The Giant Killer—aka Jack from Jack & the Beanstalk. Chester looks suitably impressed that Jack's a hero . He admits that it looks bad, but if Jack will just stop waving the sword (it's a rapier, Chester. I don't know why, but it's somehow funnier that way), - Chester's sure he can explain.

Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure that would end the season far too soon .

Jack has been smiling nicely at Rebecca and very gently manhandling her to the door. To prevent Chester from spilling the beans, Jack chases him around the server rack. That is as hilarious a visual as you think it is.

Chester gets his cell phone out and (fabulously) calls the rent-a-cops to come save him. Jack yells, "VILLAIN!" and tries to stab him through the server rack. Chester is concerned about the server and his clothes. Fabulously concerned.

Rebecca has. Had. Enough . She grabs the Usurper chip out of the Cypher and takes off. Chester chases her, and Jack chases Chester.

The closing door takes us back to The Dominion . We're looking at the meadow near the woods where Ryan woke up—you know, the one Dante was staring at before we left them. There's a blue/white flash, and Dante and Ryan are now standing in it. Dante immediately lets go of Ryan and backs up. On repeated viewing, it looks to me as if Dante expects to be hit . Ryan is disoriented and looks behind him to the woods where the effects of the vortex are still being felt, so no time's passed since we were last there.

Ryan figures out that Dante teleported them to the meadow . Dante is very cautious and cringing a little but finally fesses up by defensively asking if Ryan would have preferred to have been eaten by the vortex thing. Ryan assures he would not have and thanks him.

Actually, considering Jack went back to our world, I'm pretty sure Ryan did want to get eaten by the vortex . But it's a bonding moment, so I'll stop poking holes in the weak plot .

Dante can't believe his ears, but Ryan assures him that he is not particular about the methods used to save his fine ass. By the way, how did Dante save them?

Dante: (uncomfortable) I just do. Always have. Well, not with that— (makes whirly motions with hands) —whatever that was. But yeah. I look somewhere, and I'm just there.

Ryan: That's so cool.

And that's when Dante and I fall in love with Ryan Grimm .

While Dante's staring at him like a lovestruck schoolboy, Ryan finally repeats his original query—namely what the fuck is going on?

Well, okay, FOX hasn't become that liberal, so maybe he doesn't phrase it like that. Still, Dante gets the point and says they should check in town to see if one of the "Elders" have anything to add to the exposition. The camera pulls back to show the town . Dante starts walking and indicates that Ryan should follow. With a look back to where the vortex was, Ryan does. As they walk, Dante suddenly gives a funky grin. (What is it with the grins?) He asks Ryan, "Are you all right? I've never really tried to take someone with me. Have you checked your toes?"

Ryan falls for it, and we pan up as Dante laughs at him .

We fade out and back to our world, where the conga line of Rebecca-Chester-Jack has made it to the lobby and the rent-a-cops. You have to feel for the rent-a-cops.

They recognize Chester and Rebecca and somewhat understandably think the maniac with a rapier should be detained. Chester yells to stop Rebecca. Rebecca yells to leave Jack alone, and Jack yells…

"En garde, you fiends and scallawags! Jack, The Giant Killer, has arrived to free the downtrodden and the oppressed!"

No. Really.

Chester, because he is fabulous, stops dead in his tracks and orders the rent-a-cops not to hurt Jack . I know he's the bad guy here—attacking one of the title characters, making a Misnamed Fucking MacGuffin, etc. —but I fucking LOVE Chester. The rent-a-cops stare at everyone, and then all hell breaks loose. One guard holds Rebecca by the arm as she struggles, while the rest charge Jack. A Keystone Cop-style slapstick follows. Chester tells the guards to "subdue him for a minute while I straighten this out" and goes to Rebecca . As he reaches her, Rebecca elbows the guy holding her and takes off for the door .

Since they are under orders not to hurt him, Jack easily maneuvers the guards onto a rug. He actually yanks them off their feet, jumps from floor to table to chandelier, and swings over Chester—who is not trying in the least to stop him and looks very entertained—and runs out after Rebecca. The guards get up and give Chester a "What. The. Fuck." look as they pass on the way out.

Alone in the lobby, Chester holds up the Misnamed Fucking MacGuffin and grins that funky grin into the camera . The camera fades from the outside into center, so we have to watch the grin as we fade to —

Outside. Jack has stopped cold and is gaping at… everything. Rebecca spots him as she reaches her car. She is obviously conflicted but yells at him to run. He runs over in a daze, and she gets in.

Paul Bettany does a lovely bit of acting as a guy who has never seen a car but HAS seen a carriage door before, and he manages to get in . He is fascinated by the car and equally impressed with Rebecca. She's still in "flight" mode and ignores him as she peels out of the parking lot.

The rent-a-cops are giving chase when Chester's voice comes over the radio. Chester says to let them go. He has the gall to sound slightly puzzled about why they are trying in the first place. The guards all start muttering and start to return the building. Hee. I'd love to read that IA report.

"Received delivery at 5 pm, signed for by Programmers Grimm. Ryan Grimm reported missing—police called. Intruder with rapier chased CEO and other Grimm through lobby. We let them go per same CEO. Union rep called 5 minutes later."

Poor rent-a-cops. Ahem.

Commercial Break!

Ryan and Dante have made it to the town. It's called "Bremen Town," which would normally make me call BULLSHIT, but the premise is (I think) that they are stuck in a game , so I'll accept it .

Bremen Town is like the town of Bree on crack . Buildings are low tech, but there are high tech railings and sidewalks. Parts of some buildings do not appear to be following known laws of physics—which makes sense, in a way, as the rest of the show is ignoring Sir Issac Newton, too .

It should probably be noted that the townsfolk quite obviously do not like Dante. Some are outright frightened of him, some are acting like they'd refuse to serve him, but most are just glaring at him .

Ryan—the perfect stranger—is conversely being greeted with smiles and nods like they know him and they owe him money . It's weirding Ryan out a little. A random guy with a barrel of apples comes up and passes Dante to offer one to Ryan. Ryan deliberately takes two and passes one to Dante, who looks startled by the courtesy. Aw. Poor baby, come here, and I'll kiss it better .

There's all sorts of muttering about this, but everyone immediately stops glaring at Dante . We get to hear random background extras call Ryan a hero and go get the Elders Dante mentioned earlier.

Sure enough, they turn the corner, and there's a group of old people in appropriate Elder robes with ridiculous walking sticks. There's a relatively young guy with them, dressed in the same clothes, although he's got the biggest staff. I'll let you make your own jokes.

Biggest Staff steps up and introduces himself as the Mayor of Bremen Town. Ryan gapes at him, apparently filling in his own cheap jokes . Dante nudges him and tells him his name's Ryan Grimm. Ryan nods and agrees his name's Ryan Grimm. Heh.

The Mayor reacts to the name Grimm, and the Elders all have heart attacks. Oh, wait, they're just excited. My bad .

The Elder with the Biggest Staff Except the Mayor's Staff walks to the crowd that gathered to see the show and announces: "A Grimm! The Stories can be saved! The Hero is a Grimm! "

And then the entire town kneels to Ryan. Dante doesn't kneel. He looks surprised by the reaction and then looks to Ryan .

"Do I have to kneel?" he whispers. HA! Ryan looks horrified and shakes his head. Dante looks around and steals another apple. At Ryan's look, he steals one for Ryan. Okay, I love Dante, too.

Ryan doesn't take the apple. He just looks around and sums up his situation.

"Crap." Hee.

The End. But wait!

We're treated to what must be the crew singing the "God Only Knows" refrain (God Only Knows what I'd be without you). It fades into the real song as—

We cut to Ryan and Dante meeting in the woods again. Except as Matt brushes off Jensen's ass, he flubs the line. Next take, Jensen flubs a line. Next take, Matt starts to brush Jensen off, and Jensen starts brushing Matt off as well. It ends in a sissy fight and a weary Nutter calling "CUT." A placard tells us it is take 17. Wow. This time they make it all the way to "I was putting this server" when Jensen yells SHIT! Matt tries to keep it together, and you can hear Paul Bettany yelling that they are amateurs in the background.

In Alona and Joe's struggle at the Cypher Server, they completely break the cheap plastic Misnamed Fucking MacGuffin prop. There's a beat of OH NOES!, and then they crack up.

Jack swings off a chandelier at one point in the Keystone Cop fight. In rehearsals (low res vid), Paul swings all over it, and it's solid. But then when they call action, it falls as he's barely on it.

Next blooper is Paul going to kick a chair out of the way, and it bounces weird and hits the camera. Several beeps on the audio indicate the crew's reaction.

Next is the master shot used in the show—with no errors. The director yells cut, and Paul throws victory arms and yells, "And no damage to the set or crew! Thank you!"

I am not one for gag reels, and I'm a little alarmed they aren't saving it for the DVD. It implies they don't think there WILL be a DVD release.

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